Sunday, January 1, 2017

Moment of clarity

This post was written just a couple of months ago, and i guess it deserves to see the light of the day.

How many articles filed under the 'Life Lessons' tag do you have to go through before you see enlightenment? The answer of course, is not an absolute, it conveniently comes within the category of "depends". “Depends” on the writer, obviously; because she's the one who ought to have something wise to say, a novel way of saying it, to build a convincing foreword that necessitates dishing out the life lessons in bullet points, establish credibility, make it interesting enough to hold interest, and other such concerns. On the reader as well, because well, more than anything I've got to be in the right frame of mind to receive the enlightenment. But something more is needed; a connect, a matching wavelength, a common experience maybe, probably familiarity. Sometimes I read a whole lengthy article; (and they all are long, like really really long) and come out of it drained, because I got nothing off it. Just didn't connect. But then I get drawn into reading another of the same category quite easily. I love having conversations with myself, and/or anyone willing; about why we do/be/feel the way we do, about the hows and whys of a feeling. These conversations when not directed inwards, are best had with people who affirm to your thoughts, but it’s not every day that you can meet your soul mate of a friend for a leisurely coffee and talk for hours and soak in their aura, feel the euphoria of being understood. So, I read these articles, I get sucked into it without much allure, just a hint of a promise. Only sometimes do I come across one that clears the cloud off my mind and makes me see reason for the things that I do. Things that I did just because they felt right, unknowing of anything more beneath that feeling. Like, I’ve often stood at the balcony of my house, looking at the community bustling with activity, and wondered about what I see. What I see more than anything else, is parents having a great time with their kids, doing exactly what the kids enjoy, not what they themselves would choose to do on any day if they had to choose. But they all seem happy doing this. Either they're actually happy and enjoy this, or they're pretending to. Maybe it's a conditioning of the brain, they've trained themselves to believe that this is fun. What makes it such an enticing option, to have kids? Why do we all go down this same path, a lot of us, more than once? And let’s leave out the huge subset of people who never had the option of saying no, or to even imagine that NOT having kids is a possibility too. Let’s talk about those of us who were in the privileged position of having the option to choose for ourselves. Yet we did, hordes of us, a great percentage of us made a conscious decision to go down this path. Even if, what tilted the decision in favor, was a mere feeling. Why do we feel what we feel? What is it about parenting that draws people to it? What lies at the core of that parental satisfaction that’s talked about? And there it was in one such listicle, a simple truth experienced by one person, that seemed to put to rest, so many of my questions. One of the points in that article was that in the process of raising someone, the raiser often grows more than the raisee. Now isn't that such an amazingly simple truth! A smooth sea never made a great mariner; so we go seeking.

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